I have learned, or rather unlearned many things about my perception of my worldly views. I never loved being a rule follower, but I wasn’t necessarily a bad kid. I just didn’t like rules that didn’t make sense. I asked a lot of questions. I HATED when I would challenge my mom as a teenager and ask her why she said no to something. We all know her answer, right? “Because I said so”. That’s just how we were raised. You did what you were told, you didn’t ask questions or you were deemed a “bad kid”. I had a strong moral code as an adolescent, but I loved to be a rebel. There was something I loved about going against the grain just because, why not?
I was raised on a farm and had only brothers. I was strong, athletic, and mouthy. I could hold my own and my dad and brothers often delegated farm duties to me as a young girl. I would drive tractors, feed animals, and spend all day out in the sun sweating and feeling dirty. It wasn’t my favorite thing to do, but it was how I got any time with the men in my life and I enjoyed being a girl that wore many hats. What I didn’t love though, was most things showcased as a “typical woman” or I suppose what the young call nowadays, a “trad wife”. I didn’t love cooking, cleaning, laundry and all the other endless tasks that women are enslaved to; especially in the name of family. I remember telling my mother when we were in our kitchen in my old childhood home that I would “never get married”. It wasn’t because I didn’t want a husband, or children, or a family… it's because I didn’t want to sign up for being told what to do by my spouse.
I carried a chip on my shoulder through most of my 20’s and I was determined I didn’t need a man to take care of me…that I was capable of taking care of myself. I moved to Kansas City in the summer of 2010. I had graduated from Missouri Southern University in Joplin, Mo with a license to be a dental hygienist. There was a lot I didn’t know about my future, but I knew I didn’t want to stay there or move back home. I was going to move to a new city, get a fresh start, and figure out who the heck I was without my parents telling me so. I didn’t know what I was missing at the time, but something was. I lacked a desire for much of anything. I was realizing in a place like Kansas City I was considered less than average. And I didn’t like that.
I spent my money on stupid things. I made a good salary for being 24 years old and I had very few responsibilities. The simplest things like paying property taxes on my car was the most annoying task in life. Let’s admit it; I was midwest spoiled. My parents did virtually everything they could do for me that they could afford. I had lived a rather kush life; but nothing about it was exciting.
How does a single, 24 year old Naive midwest girl go about finding herself?? She does EVERYTHING. She tries EVERYTHING! That’s one of my favorite things about myself. I am usually a for sure YES, especially if it involves adventure. I did recently turn down the opportunity to go sky diving with my hairstylist. Her and I both knew for sure I’d say yes…but I didn’t!
As I sit here watching my daughter practice her gymnastics skills in my comfortable suburbia home I am thankful for every single thing I did and didn’t do in my 20’s to get me to exactly this moment today. My kids are my everything and I’m having so much fun living out this phase of my life known as motherhood. I know I’ll always be their mother; but they won’t always have their childhood and the way they intertwine right now is my favorite thing about my life.
Being a parent is crazy. It's so hard, yet its the single most important title you're ever given. I might be doing everything wrong, but one thing I am focusing on as a parent in 2024...
I am committed to raising healthy kids (both mentally and physically) who can think for themselves!
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